As I thought about being a new mom, I was aware of many of the things I'd get to do, like poopy diapers, spit up, hair pulling and more. Declan is four months today and reflecting on this amazing time, I began to think of all the things I never thought I'd say.
Here's the list in no order
-- he's slurping my nipple
-- his poop just dripped down MY leg
-- I'm picking his nose, there's a booger way up there
-- yes, Brad, the claw marks on my chest are from your son.
-- his drool just dripped in my mouth!
-- excuse me, I need to clean the spit up from my cleavage.
-- Declan, quit flirting with the teenage girls.
-- What's the best way to get out a poop stain?
As he's gotten older I've had the pleasure of adding to the list:
-- my hair is actually not a handle to help pull yourself up.
-- Volcanic poop just happened. He erupted.
-- No eating my cell phone.
-- There's poop on Teddy's head!
-- Please don't pick my nose.
-- I think he just ate dog food. Yes, he has dog food breathe.